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  You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
  . . . the newspaper (the business) is the community toilet paper. (from SailorSpringStar)



. . . the town policeman stops by so much, you know his 5th grade GPA. (from SailorSpringStar)



. . . your airplane cost you less than 15 hundred bucks and uses two stroke oil. (from Lawrence Benton)



. . . you say “I tell you wut!“ more than 3 times a day. (from Kelly)



. . . your daddy‘s last words were “Hey ya‘ll look what I can do!“ (from Kelly)



. . . your lawn furniture was in your house last summer. (from Kelly)



. . . your car uses more oil than gas. (from Shelly1179)



. . . you have ever used a turkey baster bulb to get something out of your ear. (from Kim Scurti)



. . . your dog wants you to be the girl tonght. (from TDOGG333)



. . . you use the car that is broken down in the driveway as a tool shed. (from Scrpah5454)



. . . fine dining is the Waffle House. (from Ferrari92687)



. . . you‘ve ever been in a fist fight with your best friend because he said his John Deere will out pull your Farmall. (from Browning1225)



. . . your dog has a litter of puppies on your living room floor and no one notices. (from Eboom386)



. . . you fall in love with a girl and write “I Love You“ using duck tape. (from BillyBobBaitShop)



. . . you think “harass“ are two words. (from SwingMs)



. . . your race car looks and runs better than your own car. (from Beisballer9)



. . . you get drunk while mowing the grass. (from Donnie)



. . . you have a beer cooler on your riding lawn mower. (from Donnie)



. . . you have ever opened a beer bottle with your truck door. (from Donnie)



. . . hot dogs and pork-n-beans are your favorite Sunday night dinner. (from DeposRus)



. . . your hair is five times as long in the back as it is on top. (from DeposRus)



. . . you put mud grips on your new Cadillac. (from Patsyweeksj)



. . . your Mama yells, “Close the screen door boy, you‘re letting all the bugs out!“ (from RSki460957)



. . . you have no idea who the President is but you can name five NASCAR drivers in a single belch. (from Roni1010)



. . . you actually know what “puked a motor“ means. (from Roni1010)



. . . you‘ve ever been in a fist fight involving the phrase “Dale Earnhardt is the Intimidator“. (from Roni1010)



. . . you think 7-11 is a grocery store. (from Shaun McElhinney)



. . . your kids fall down in the house and get grass stains. (from Shaun McElhinney)



. . . you have to slide out of the passenger side of your truck because the driver‘s side door is jammed. (from Shaun McElhinney)



. . . if the dashboard of your work vehicle is covered with empty cigarette cartons and Mountain Dew bottles (from Shaun McElhinney)



. . . your Daddy picks you up from school in a Swamp Buggy. (from QSLUQRU)



. . . you refer to Walmart as going to the mall. (from Shaun McElhinney)



. . . your sister/brother is also your cousin. (from Txdixiechick01)



. . . your wife wears a dress on Sunday and one of you‘re flannel shirts over it. (from Rebelwolff1)



. . . you go into an auto parts store and tell them you need a part for your Chevy and when they ask you make and model you answer, “They‘re all the same.“ (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . you go coon hunting with a spot light instead of a dog. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . you hunt deer from a moving vehicle. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . your wife‘s deer head hanging on the wall is bigger than yours. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . you take your wife fishing and she out fishes you and all your buddies. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . your wife can out drink you or any of your friends and is willing to prove it. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . your wife can belch louder than you can. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . you consider yourself the blacksheep of the family because you are the only one not living in a trailer house. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . your mama spends more money fixing up her old trailer house than it cost to build a new brick home. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . your mama has more gadgets and accessories on her pickup truck than you do. (from THREEDDONZI)



. . . you got more antenas on your truck than the local TV station. (from Honeybee24595981)



. . . you call a chicken a yard bird. (from Oamanecer0)



. . . you get a ticket cause you got a confederate flag as a front license plate. (from Daisy May)



. . . the police are lookin for you in a brown truck so you wiped off the mud a bit so they wouldn‘t recognize you. (from Daisy May)



. . . your wardrobe consists of nothing but cammo and flannel. (from REDNECKTNKER)



. . . you see your grandmother naked and it turns you on. (from Honeybee24595981)



. . . you have a transmission in your bathtub. (from Honeybee24595981)



. . . you‘re homeschooled and you date someone in your class. (from JOYFULJENNY)



. . . your Mama was ever asked to leave a Bingo game because of her language. (from FOGHATIRONHEAD)



. . . you‘ve ever put a tarp in the bed of your truck to use it as a swimming pool. (from Donna R.)



. . . you finally mow your front lawn and you find the pickup truck that you thought was stolen. (from annonymous)



. . . you know exactly how many cans of spray paint it takes to paint a 1976 full size Chevy truck. (from ChickenFryes)



. . . the bigest city you‘ve ever been to is Wal-Mart. (from Aannetta)



. . . you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say cool whip on the side. (from Aannetta)



. . . you think a tv dinner consists of a RC Cola and a moonpie. (from Honeybee24595981)



. . . you join the army for the free uniform. (from Brad)



. . . you wash your truck in a mud puddle. (from Countryboyz4x4)



. . . you spend more time with you truck than your family. (from Countryboyz4x4)



. . . your kids eat on the floor while your dogs eat at the table. (from Countryboyz4x4)



. . . your 80 year old grandma can shoot better than you. (from Countryboyz4x4)



. . . you have ever peed in the sink cuz your mom was hogging up the outhouse. (from Tweetheart86chic)



. . . your beer can pyramid is taller than your trailer. (from Celotheswhite)



. . . you have to mow the hoods of your cars. (from Celotheswhite)



. . . you put a sign up that says “Billy Bob & Sally wedding --->“ on a carboard sign in spray paint nailed to a tree. (from Celotheswhite)



. . . you have ever surrendered to the police in exchange for ciggaretes. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . you think “manual labor“ is a Spanish ambassadar. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . you have ever had to gift-wrap a tire. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . your dog‘s collar costs more than the clothes you are wearing. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . your kid learns to shoot a gun before he learns his alphabet. (from Myerslaue)



. . . you divorced your 1st. cousin, married your 2nd. cousin and are cheating with your 3rd. cousin. (from Armando T.)



. . . you found a toy boat in your toilet when you were taking a bath and started playing with it. (from Tweetheart86chic)



. . . you dust furniture with underwear. (from Pinehillfarmky)



. . . you sat on your roof with a loaded gun waiting for twelve midnight to roll around on Y2K. (from NBC Tutolo)



. . . your whole yard has chickens and cows in it. (from Girlsloveme67863)



. . . you not only pass the beans at the supper table but your teeth so Billy Bob can chew them also. (from Keith S. Penna)
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