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  You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
  . . . you have to change gears in your pickup by opening the hood and moving the gear arm, then jump back in before the truck drives off without you. (from Patrick A. Hall)



. . . your screen name is JohnDeere. (from Johndeere77)



. . . you think the unibomber was a wrestler. (from MMichaelOne)



. . . you think the quarterhorse is the ride outside of Wal-Mart. (from MMichaelOne)



. . . you‘ve ever gotten a “lap“ dance from your sister! (from GBandS4ever)



. . . the fairground‘s main attraction is to see who can throw cow pie the farthest! (from CallmeWinsie)



. . . you take your dog on more vacations than your wife! (from CallmeWinsie)



. . . the bouqet at your wedding was stolen from a cemetary. (from Adria116)



. . . your only time spent sober is the time spent getting another 6 pack. (from Bordem420)



. . . your house doesn‘t have curtains but your truck does. (from Totizzi4u)



. . . you decorate the lawn mower with red Christmas lights at Halloween. (from Hed666)



. . . you think Iraq is a high performance Camaro. (from CRISSY56)



. . . your pocket knife has ever been referred too as Exhibit A. (from KnightofNi62)



. . . your Sunday vest is green and consists of three different fishin‘ lures. (from KnightofNi62)



. . . you think that “loaden up the dishwasher“ means getting your wife drunk. (from KnightofNi62)



. . . your pick-up is at least 3 colors. (from Caputsevilno)



. . . all of the light switches in your house are wired to turn on the light on the front porch. (from Caputsevilno)



. . . you think coming from a broken home means your trailer has a flat. (from Caputsevilno)



. . . both your house and car are on blocks. (from DESERTTRANSPLANT)



. . . you have a cow tied to the front bumper of your broken down Chevy truck as a pet. (from Patrick A. Hall)



. . . you use coffee filters when you run out of toilet tissue. (from SYLB261)



. . . you think W.W.J.D stands for, “What would Junior do?“ (from Skylane227)



. . . any of your children were concieved under a stop light. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . you name your children after the cars they were concieved in. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . your wife‘s bridal reception was at Wal-Mart. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . you call fast food hitting a deer at 60mph. (from Starpuppy316)



. . . you floss with barb wire. (from slemp)



. . . your tire swing has a truck stilll attached to it. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . on cold nights, your dog sleeps on the bed and your wife dosn‘t. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . you are naked on laundry day. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . the words Nascar, tire, dog or shotgun appeared in your wedding vows. (from Danspumpkins)



. . . you pull one of your dogs loose teeth and keep it to have something to remember him by. (from GenieMathers)



. . . your idea of a family cook-out is the whole family gathering around the Chevy with the hood up. (from Herferd)



. . . your Computer has Winders 95 instead of Windows. (from dfowler779)



. . . your moms maiden name is Bubba. (from dfowler779)



. . . your sister has more hair on her legs than you do. (from dfowler779)



. . . your dog can open a beer can for you. (from dfowler779)



. . . your favorite fishing hole has more car parts in it than a junk yard. (from dfowler779)



. . . you think your sister is sexier than your wife. (from dfowler779)



. . . you and your dad share the same mistress. (from dfowler779)



. . . you ever told your Mom that she looks sexy in mini skirts. (from dfowler779)



. . . your wife shaves her beard more than you shave yours. (from dfowler779)



. . . you thought Texas A&M is a root beer made in Texas. (from dfowler779)



. . . you ever had a riffle in your back at a wedding. (from dfowler779)



. . . you have a Confederate flag for bed sheets. (from dfowler779)



. . . you name your dogs after your favorite “Playboy“ centerfold. (from dfowler779)



. . . you grandmother spits farther than you. (from dfowler779)



. . . you think the WWF is a romantic sport. (from dfowler779)



. . . your porn collection is also called the family videos. (from dfowler779)



. . . you have at least five hunting dogs in your bed at night. (from dfowler779)



. . . you put a corn cobb on a screwdriver and call it a back-scratcher (from KTwinkles)



. . . you have a gun rack on the back of your bicycle. (from JMSpyke13)



. . . you get kicked out of the KKK for being a bigot. (from Korn2122)



. . . you got your pickup truck from a lake. (from Tekman228)



. . . you wore your Burger King hat to your Prom. (from Billybob1388)



. . . if you think hocking loogies onto oncoming vehicles should be an Olympic sport. (from HaulMail37311)



. . . you get your 4-wheel drive stuck. (from HaulMail37311)



. . . your mechanic looks under the front of your car or truck and asks if you work for the Roadkill Cafe. (from HaulMail37311)



. . . you have a rebel flag displayed on your truck. (from HaulMail37311)



. . . your son Bubba J.r. uses his school locker as a gun cabinet. (from GoWest78)



. . . your Mama has failed the 3rd. grade five times. (from Chillichikk)



. . . you were born and raised in a pickup truck. (from Tekman228)
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  Poster: Admin
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